Cooperland

I initially wrote this post on my last blog, but I think it’s such a relevant message that I wanted to post it here, too.

There are rules everywhere.  They dictate how we drive a vehicle or pay our taxes or dress at work.  These rules are important in that they are not negotiable.  Drive according to the rules or lose your license.  Pay your taxes or face the wrath of the IRS.  Dress appropriately at work or you won’t have a job.

But some rules are more like suggestions.  Take this article for instance.  These 5 people are those who broke the “rules” of social media, faced considerable amount of pressure to conform, and came out on top in the end.

But who makes the rules anyway?  At what point does someone say, “This is a rule that must be followed?”  Especially in social media.  Social media is about the people contributing to the entirety of the social environment.  Heck, it has the word “social” in the name!  There is no governing body except the participants, and they have the right to contribute however they deem necessary because there is no official governing body.

The same would go for ministry.  Who created the rules for doing ministry?  My favorite question to ask anyone is…here comes the black sheep question…wait for it…WHY.  Why does it have to be done this way?  Why can’t it be done another way?  Why?  Why?

I guess my point is this.  Just because it’s never been done before doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, and just because somebody says that it can’t be done doesn’t mean that an idea won’t be successful.  In the end, some “rules” end up being more like suggestions or what some would call best practices.

Now think about this: It might be prettier to stay between the lines, but not nearly as fun.

Who knows what you can accomplish if you’re willing to push the boundaries a little and step out from within the rules. In the end, some rules are more like suggestions.

The root word of contemporary is temporary.  Temporary is defined as “lasting for a limited time” according to Merriam-Webster.

I’m weird.  Why?  Because, I love change.  In fact, I thrive on change.  Sure, too much change is bad, but so is too little.  It’s got to be “Just right” as Goldie Locks would say.

Since I love change I don’t understand why people hate it so much.  Change is going to happen.  We should be used to it, right?

As a pastor, I’m always evaluating whether change is needed.  If it doesn’t, then no changes are made.  If it does, then change is on the way.

My point: Churches should be constantly evaluating change.  A good policy would be to change what’s necessary, keep what’s not, and always keep evaluating everything.

Let me get this out of the way: my wife is awesome.  I love her so much.  Her passion for helping people oozes out of her, and it’s contagious.  Good thing I love helping people too or I’d be in a heap of trouble.

Being in youth ministry with her is a huge blessing, too.  She loves children and teenagers, and because she’s experienced so much in her short life she knows much of what they have going on in their lives and wants to share the wisdom that God has given to her so to help them battle through their problems.  That’s why I’m glad to announce that Bridgett has launched a new Q&A site for teenagers to ask questions for advice while being able to answer other questions themselves.  We call it Fight 4 Your Life.

The idea is simple.  Teenagers can ask a question to get help or advice, and Bridgett and/or other teens can answer the question.  Or Bridgett can ask a question to get ideas and suggestions from others.  It’s a win-win.  The only issue that we’ll keep in mind is to watch others’ answers to make sure that they are uplifting and not negative.

Before I finished my announcement, let me say a big “Thank You” to the 8Bit network for bring QHub to my attention.  QHub is the website that is powering Fight 4 Your Life.

Every youth pastor that I’ve ever spoken to has discussed the idea of rules for their youth ministry.  Most of them are asking, “What rules have you set in place for your ministry?”  It’s a catch-22 for youth pastors.  Teenagers want their freedom, and if a youth pastor doesn’t give it to them, then the teens will view the him/her as a dictator and bolt.  Since the students are still technically kids and still learning to be adults complete freedom can’t be given.  It would be foolish of the youth pastor to do so.  Therefore, a structure must be set in place to govern the teens.  What to do? What to do? What to do?

I’m a big fan of Shawn Wood’s idea of providing low control along with high accountability.  In other words, present to the teens as few rules as possible (low control) while explaining that these rules will be strictly enforced (high accountability).  Sounds pretty common so far right?  Sure, until you hear how many rules I have.

So, how many rules do I have as a youth pastor?  One.  That’s right.  Only one.  Here is my rule.

Respect

It means, “giving special attention to something or someone.”  It’s a simple rule that’s not hard to follow, and to be extremely clear this rule is broken into 5 parts.

1. God.

   God is at the center of everything that my team and I do in the Beyond Youth.  Nothing is done without first considering if God wants us to do it or not.  I cannot make a student believe in God or to do what is right, but as long as he/she is in this youth ministry you will respect Him.  This ministry was founded by God and it stands to serve God.  If a student is going to be involved, then he/she will respect Him; even if he/she choose not to believe in Him.

2. Each other.

   We are all God’s creation.  No one is more important than anyone else.  So, each person is going to be treated with respect.  Matthew 7:12 states, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  Keep in mind that to earn respect, one has to give it.  As an addition to respecting each other, respected will be…

3. The leadership.

   This is an extension to #2.  Who are the leadership?  They are any person in church leadership including any specific ministry leader/director.

4. The facility.

   This includes anything that belongs to the church or that the church uses.  Everyone needs to take care of what the church has.  If not, then the church won’t have anything to use, including the Beyond Youth.

5. Yourself.

   If a student can’t respect him/herself, then no one else will.  As was mentioned in #2, no one is more important than someone else.  God created each person and that makes them very important and very special.

As with any set of rules there are consequences for breaking this one.  Simply put, as long as respect is given, then the doors are always open for student participation.  If not, then the offending students can hit the road.  They can come back when they can respect.  Keep in mind that leniency is given.  Student banishment is a last ditch effort to help the student understand how they have been acting, and is enforced only upon approval of the senior pastors.  This is to keep my wife and I accountable.