I’m not sure why so many people find themselves immediately crippled with fear when confronted with the smallest of notions that they will be required to make a public speech; however, I do know how they feel, because I was one of them.

My fear started at age 6 when I was voluntold to take a speaking role in my church’s annual Christmas play.  During this play, my lines got mixed up in my head, I said them wrong, and the fear promptly began.  Looking back, I’m sure the devil was quite happy with the outcome seeing that God had called me to be a pastor, which requires regular public speeches.

Each person has their own story of how this fear started.  For some, they don’t even know how, but it is there.  They know that much, and it keeps them from overcoming this great fear.

So, the question goes like this: How did I get over my fear of public speaking, and how do you get over yours?

Two ways: pressure and time (and God directing the whole thing).

1) Pressure

Pressure means that I was forced to speak in public without a choice.  Forced by a professor to present my research findings to students and faculty for an educational project which I was a participant.  Forced by a teacher to read a paper in front of class.  Forced to introduce myself to a group of people (yes, I was that scared of public speaking).  Every time I had to do these things I was forced to accept my fear and push through it, and it was through this fear that God somehow overcame this fear in me.

There’s no way to overcome a fear without immersing yourself in doing that which scares you.  There’s just no way.  To overcome public speaking, then you’ve got to speak in public.  This isn’t hard stuff.  Force yourself to do it.  Accept opportunities to speak to a room full of people.  The more you do it, then the more you’ll get comfortable in front of people.  Oh, and don’t worry about the set backs.  Those are just learning moments.

2) Time

Simply put…it didn’t happen over night.  It takes time.  It took years to get over my fear.  It wasn’t until I was a senior in college when I finally took a public speaking course for an easy A.  And I got it, too.  My fear started at 6, and “ended” at 23.  That’s a lot of years.  Seventeen to be exact.

Don’t expect an overtime transformation on your part either.  Give it time.  Be patient.

Bonus) It never really goes away

Sadly, this is true.  It’s possible that you’ll always get a little scared before stepping in front of people to speak.  It happens.  Just keep pushing through it.  Do yo’ thang, and do it well.  You’ll be fine.

Finally, I leave you with the word of John in 1 John 5:4, which states, “for everyone born of God overcomes the world.”

I’m also reminded that the Word of God clearly states many, many times that I can’t be defeated.  [HEAR THAT DEVIL! I CAN'T BE DEFEATED!]  God’s leading me and he’s guiding my steps.  He’s my refuge and he fights my battles.  I’m not afraid and I will not back down.  So, I say it again, BRING IT.

To illustrate my point, see what The Rock does to Chris Jericho.  This is what will happen to the devil when he messes with a child of God.

Definitely not as easy as the picture above.  Of course, I’ll take success.

The only way I’ve found to cope with the gravity of a tough choice is to rely on God (hmm…that seems to be a pattern in our life together).  Sure, a decision will be made, but it is God who makes the path straight.

This is where Bridgett and I find ourselves.  Relying on God while we make a hard choice among many options.  This is why I haven’t been blogging a often lately.  My mind has been preoccupied a bit.

But it’s okay.  God is still good, and he will get the glory in all things.

James 1:27 states, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”

Who are these people?  When James wrote this book it was specific types of people.  When he wrote “orphans” and “widows” he meant those people.

Who does it mean now?  Practically speaking, those that are helpless.  They have no support, no way out, no hope.  Those like foster children, victims of abuse, the homeless, and the unborn.  Those who live in other countries where dirty water is the only water available for drinking, cooking, and washing.  Those who are victims to human trafficking.  Those who desire to rid themselves of their misfortune, but are living in a can’t-win-for-losing lifestyle.

Not those who are looking for a hand-out.  Not those who are out to get anything for free.  They are subverting the system and taking resources that can be better used to help the hurting and the weak.

Every church needs to make this a priority.  These people need our help, and we are the hands and feet of God.

Let’s help them.

I hate to be a buzzkill, but this is exactly what happened this weekend on Facebook.  People were changing their profile pics to an image of a cartoon from their childhood.  It was great for a laugh and maybe a bit of nostalgia, but you know what?  Nothing happened. Child abuse wasn’t stopped nor was awareness raised.

It became a game to most people.  A game to see who would post what cartoon.  Then we’d laugh while forgetting about the abused children stateside and abroad.

Child abuse happens, and everyone knows it.  Raising awareness about child abuse is like telling everyone that Dr. Pepper has 23 blended flavors when it says so directly on each Dr. Pepper box, bottle, and can.  We see the pictures.  We see the bruises.  We know its happening.

Ways To Really Help

Do you really want to help end child abuse?  Then pray. Pray hard.  For the victims and for their attackers.  Pray that God will heal this issue, and eradicate it from existence.

You can also give. Give to organizations that are fighting on the front lines of child abuse.  If you can’t give, then how about volunteering.

Here’s a biggie.  You can foster a child or children or even ADOPT. How cool would that be?  To be able to take a child from an abusive environment to one with love and compassion and gentleness.  You can be like Jesus to that little child.

Wow!

This is a hard lesson to learn for most people.  You want to help.  You want to fix their problem.  You want to make their problem your problem by taking a personal interest.  But you can’t.  All you can do it listen.  And it stinks.

Especially for the ones closest to you; like your friends and family.

Don’t do it!

Sure, you can help some people, but you can’t make their problems your problems.  You have enough problems on your own, and often those are hard to handle without adding more problems to bear.  Adding their problems will feel like carrying an elephant.  It’s just too much.  It’ll drive you insane.

What do I do?

Listen.  That’s it.  Nothing deep here.  Offering a listening ear could be all they need.  The person may just need to vent a little, and offering any bit of assistance could make them worse off.

What do I do if I can help?

Think first.  Be sure that you have the time and ability to help.  If not, then don’t offer.  It’ll be worse for you and them if you offer but can’t really help them.

If you do offer your assistance, then follow through with what you said that you would do.  Don’t make assumptions and do more or less.  Also, don’t be embarrassed or offended if they decline.  It’s their problem to handle not yours.

Stay Separated

No matter what stay separated from the problem.  Sure, love the person dealing with it, but it’s not your problem.

I know a lot of dreamers.  Dreamers who wish to do great things.  To be famous.  To invent the next big thing.  To change the world.  And to those people I give them a simple piece of advice: GO FOR IT!!!

Too many of these dreamers, though, will never see their dreams to reality.  Their big thing never happens.  It’s not for a lack of wishing to see their dreams be fulfilled.  It’s for a lack of converting their wishing into doing.

It’s not enough to wish for something big.  At some point, we all must stop wishing for our dreams to happen and starting making our dreams happen.

In other words: Less Wishing, More Doing

How do I know this?  Because I experienced it.  In my mid-twenties,  I realized that I was no longer a child, and that my dreams wouldn’t magically happen for themselves.  Instead, I needed to get to work.  And work I have been doing since.

In my best opinion, most people either recognize this transitional period or completely ignore it.  For those who recognize it they either choose to start working on their dreams or give up before getting started, which is a really sad fate.

Sure, this is a liquor commercial, but you’ve got to admit. You laughed the first time you saw it.

Okay.  Forget the liquor.  Consider the message behind the commercial.

John Jameson fought back against the weather, the sea, and the octopus to deliver his beloved barrel.  It was his mission.  His desire.

Now consider this!

What must you fight back against to complete your mission?  The thing that you desire?  The purpose God’s laid on your heart?

When faced with those things that seem so big they seem unbeatable, then remember that there’s a God who’s bigger, and he’s on YOUR side.  You can’t lose!  Don’t cower in defeat!  Stand up and WIN!

Be like John Jameson in the commercial.  Show up to prove that the impossible is in fact possible.

It’s funny because its true!

Especially when it comes to deciding what to eat.  That’s the hardest decision ever.

I wonder if this will work to help decide what someone wants to do with their life?

James 4:14, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.”

I hate that I can’t see into the future.  I’d love that superpower.  Alas, I can only wish.

That’s what makes tomorrow scary.  We don’t know what’s going to happen.  All we can do is prepare and hope for the best.  No wait!  That’s not right.  That can’t be right.  Can it?

Absolutely not!  Simply being prepared is giving into your fear of the unexpected, and fear doesn’t belong in our lives.  GET RID OF IT!

Instead, move forward.  Work toward your dreams.  Fight to accomplish your God-given purpose.  Expect the unexpected, and be prepared for it.  Then show it who’s boss.  Work today to make tomorrow a better place.

Don’t be scared of tomorrow.  Make tomorrow scared of you.