Youth Ministry Rules

Every youth pastor that I’ve ever spoken to has discussed the idea of rules for their youth ministry.  Most of them are asking, “What rules have you set in place for your ministry?”  It’s a catch-22 for youth pastors.  Teenagers want their freedom, and if a youth pastor doesn’t give it to them, then the teens will view the him/her as a dictator and bolt.  Since the students are still technically kids and still learning to be adults complete freedom can’t be given.  It would be foolish of the youth pastor to do so.  Therefore, a structure must be set in place to govern the teens.  What to do? What to do? What to do?

I’m a big fan of Shawn Wood’s idea of providing low control along with high accountability.  In other words, present to the teens as few rules as possible (low control) while explaining that these rules will be strictly enforced (high accountability).  Sounds pretty common so far right?  Sure, until you hear how many rules I have.

So, how many rules do I have as a youth pastor?  One.  That’s right.  Only one.  Here is my rule.

Respect

It means, “giving special attention to something or someone.”  It’s a simple rule that’s not hard to follow, and to be extremely clear this rule is broken into 5 parts.

1. God.

   God is at the center of everything that my team and I do in the Beyond Youth.  Nothing is done without first considering if God wants us to do it or not.  I cannot make a student believe in God or to do what is right, but as long as he/she is in this youth ministry you will respect Him.  This ministry was founded by God and it stands to serve God.  If a student is going to be involved, then he/she will respect Him; even if he/she choose not to believe in Him.

2. Each other.

   We are all God’s creation.  No one is more important than anyone else.  So, each person is going to be treated with respect.  Matthew 7:12 states, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”  Keep in mind that to earn respect, one has to give it.  As an addition to respecting each other, respected will be…

3. The leadership.

   This is an extension to #2.  Who are the leadership?  They are any person in church leadership including any specific ministry leader/director.

4. The facility.

   This includes anything that belongs to the church or that the church uses.  Everyone needs to take care of what the church has.  If not, then the church won’t have anything to use, including the Beyond Youth.

5. Yourself.

   If a student can’t respect him/herself, then no one else will.  As was mentioned in #2, no one is more important than someone else.  God created each person and that makes them very important and very special.

As with any set of rules there are consequences for breaking this one.  Simply put, as long as respect is given, then the doors are always open for student participation.  If not, then the offending students can hit the road.  They can come back when they can respect.  Keep in mind that leniency is given.  Student banishment is a last ditch effort to help the student understand how they have been acting, and is enforced only upon approval of the senior pastors.  This is to keep my wife and I accountable.